Anger
Today was a BAD DAY!!!
My mom called me up today and well, basically she had her suspicions and she drilled out of me that I lost my job. I was wanting to keep it to myself. Only Lisa knew. I told my grandparents also. I figured it was my business and I just didn't want to tell people about it. Anyway, my mom went and asked straight out and I told her. Guess what.....SHE GETS FUCKING MAD!!!!!
I can't believe her! My mom still treats me like a fucking little kid who has to run everything by her. This is why she and I DO NOT GET ALONG!! Our relationship has been strained ever since I was a kid. She was always very hateful towards me growing up. She was constantly mad at me for something. She was trying to live her life thru me, it seemed. She wanted me to be a straight A student and I never was that. She wanted me to be someone she could brag about to her friends so she can take credit for. There's more to it, but I don't want to get into that. Our relationship was so bad that we had to go to counseling for a short while when I was a kid. The counselor didn't know crap and didn't help us at all. All she suggested was that we "spend more time together" which didn't help nothing. My mom is just a very angry person. Back when my first Fyrescape started in 2014, I was signed up for my CDL Trucking School. She begged me to let her and my dad pay for it. I reluctantly agreed so they paid and I signed up for the class. When I found my hernia and had my huge hospital visit, the doc told me to get my weight under control and to start getting healthy. I did that! She told me to focus on myself and to really put everything into it so I'll keep my health. She was very concerned for me so I told her I would and I did. I made it my entire focus. Now there was no way I could focus on anything else and at the time I was really worried about my health so I decided to pull out of the CDL class and have my parents money refunded back to them. So I go and tell my mom about my decision. Her stupid response was "You better ask your dad first!" I'm like WHAT? Ask my dad?! What the hell for? I'm not a little kid. I'm a grown man. 33 years old and you want me to ask my dad, what the fuck!!! Ugh I'm sorry I'm cussing but this still angers me when I think of it. She was mad at me for a long time after I did that, but I didn't give two shits about it. I'm not living my life for her and I was scared for my health. To her, all that matters is money! If you're not making money and have a job paying at least $20 per hour, then you are a waste of life. That is her logic. So you can imagine what she probably thinks of me.
Anyway, yeah she got mad because I left my job. She got really mad and basically hung up on me. She gave me that judgmental voice and all the bullshit she does when she's mad. I can see that like a red stain on white because I've dealth with it for so long with her. I hate her attitude at times like this. She is a horrible person sometimes. I mean, she's a loving mom but damn when she gets mad, she turns into a demon. She's horrible and she has absolutely no regard for anyone's feelings except her own. She'll judge other people and say crap about them, but still call herself a Christian and think that she's on the right path and totally righteous. It's crazy! I just hope I can blow this off and continue on with this peace that I've acquired. I can't let her bring me down again!
My mom called me up today and well, basically she had her suspicions and she drilled out of me that I lost my job. I was wanting to keep it to myself. Only Lisa knew. I told my grandparents also. I figured it was my business and I just didn't want to tell people about it. Anyway, my mom went and asked straight out and I told her. Guess what.....SHE GETS FUCKING MAD!!!!!
I can't believe her! My mom still treats me like a fucking little kid who has to run everything by her. This is why she and I DO NOT GET ALONG!! Our relationship has been strained ever since I was a kid. She was always very hateful towards me growing up. She was constantly mad at me for something. She was trying to live her life thru me, it seemed. She wanted me to be a straight A student and I never was that. She wanted me to be someone she could brag about to her friends so she can take credit for. There's more to it, but I don't want to get into that. Our relationship was so bad that we had to go to counseling for a short while when I was a kid. The counselor didn't know crap and didn't help us at all. All she suggested was that we "spend more time together" which didn't help nothing. My mom is just a very angry person. Back when my first Fyrescape started in 2014, I was signed up for my CDL Trucking School. She begged me to let her and my dad pay for it. I reluctantly agreed so they paid and I signed up for the class. When I found my hernia and had my huge hospital visit, the doc told me to get my weight under control and to start getting healthy. I did that! She told me to focus on myself and to really put everything into it so I'll keep my health. She was very concerned for me so I told her I would and I did. I made it my entire focus. Now there was no way I could focus on anything else and at the time I was really worried about my health so I decided to pull out of the CDL class and have my parents money refunded back to them. So I go and tell my mom about my decision. Her stupid response was "You better ask your dad first!" I'm like WHAT? Ask my dad?! What the hell for? I'm not a little kid. I'm a grown man. 33 years old and you want me to ask my dad, what the fuck!!! Ugh I'm sorry I'm cussing but this still angers me when I think of it. She was mad at me for a long time after I did that, but I didn't give two shits about it. I'm not living my life for her and I was scared for my health. To her, all that matters is money! If you're not making money and have a job paying at least $20 per hour, then you are a waste of life. That is her logic. So you can imagine what she probably thinks of me.
Anyway, yeah she got mad because I left my job. She got really mad and basically hung up on me. She gave me that judgmental voice and all the bullshit she does when she's mad. I can see that like a red stain on white because I've dealth with it for so long with her. I hate her attitude at times like this. She is a horrible person sometimes. I mean, she's a loving mom but damn when she gets mad, she turns into a demon. She's horrible and she has absolutely no regard for anyone's feelings except her own. She'll judge other people and say crap about them, but still call herself a Christian and think that she's on the right path and totally righteous. It's crazy! I just hope I can blow this off and continue on with this peace that I've acquired. I can't let her bring me down again!
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